Saturday Mornings
by GladiatorSwag
Summary: He loved Saturday mornings, but she dreaded them.
1. Chapter 1

He loved Saturday mornings.

As a child, he would wake up before his parents to make sure he caught all of his favorite Saturday morning cartoons. No matter how early he woke, his mother would always have a plate of French toast waiting for him. As he got older, he spent Saturday mornings in his father's office where his love for politics developed slowly despite Big Jerry trying to force it on him. During his first campaign, Saturday mornings usually meant everyone could sleep a little later. Saturday mornings were the only day he and Olivia didn't have to part before the sun came up. They could stay in bed a little longer, talk a little more, and even order French toast from the hotel's room service.

Saturday mornings during his Presidency were usually spent in the Oval office, dealing some crisis that couldn't wait, in the same suit from the previous day. After he became President, he thought Saturday morning had lost their flare. He no longer looked forward to them because they were just another day that he was trapped in the gilded cage that he called life.

_It wasn't until after his second term had come to an end –after he was free from it all–that he learned to appreciate them again. _

He opened his bedroom door after donning on clothes for the day. Loud music greeted him as soon as he stepped out into the hallway as it did every Saturday morning that Karen decided she needed a break for her three roommates and the off-campus apartment she'd begged her parents to let her live in.

"Turn it down, Karen," he said with a knock on her closed-door, "breakfast in thirty."

"Not hungry," she shouted back, lowering whatever latest Pop song that was coming through her speakers.

"I'll expect you at the table in thirty minutes anyway."

He didn't wait outside her door to hear her response. Instead he kept moving down the long hallway, pausing briefly at the closed-door to the bedroom that would have belonged to Jerry. Every now and then he would drift into the room when he wanted to feel closer to his son but on most days the door remained closed. He continued down the hallway until he came to a stop in front of Teddy's open door. Like his father, Teddy was an early riser on Saturdays and loved cartoons.

"Morning, dad," he said without looking away from the television that was mounted on his bedroom wall, "is she here yet?"

His son asked the same question every Saturday morning and every Saturday morning he gave the same response, "she'll be here soon."

"Good because I'm hungry."

He chuckled and shook his head as he glanced at the closed-door across the hall from Teddy's room. A yellow "V" hung in the center of the door, surrounded by dozens of butterfly stickers. He checked his watch. He needed to get a start on breakfast. Unlike his mother, he hadn't figured out how to have breakfast ready before his children woke up. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that _she _would want French toast as soon as she arrived.

He turned on the small television in the kitchen while he pulled the skillet and mixing bowl out of the cabinet and gathered the indigents he would need. Watching the Melissa Harris-Perry show on Saturday mornings had been something he'd picked up from Olivia. He found her show refreshing, even more so now that he was out of office and no longer the center of some of the commentary.

As he went to work on preparing breakfast, he mentally planned the rest of the day. Karen would probably spend the rest of locked away in her room, but Teddy would want to eventually go outside to practice his curve ball before his game that afternoon. _She_ would probably insist on at least an hour in front of the television, complaining that she'd missed out on her favorite shows during the flight.

Just has he'd placed the last slices of golden brown toast on a platter, the bell rang.

"She's here!" Teddy shouted, running out of his room so fast that he nearly slid across the freshly waxed floor. "I'm okay."

"No running the house, Teddy." He chastised as he turned the fire off under the bacon. "You know how your mom gets when you hurt yourself."

It was bad enough that he would have to see Mellie at Teddy's game later that day. He didn't want to spend the entire time explaining to his ex-wife that Teddy was a boy and boys get scrapes and bruises from time to time. After Jerry died, her motherly instincts had kicked in and she now treated Teddy like he was glass and going to break at any second. He frowned just thinking about the ridiculous argument they'd had when he'd let Teddy sign up for little league baseball.

"How long is she staying, dad?" Teddy asked as if he didn't ask the same question every Saturday morning.

"Until Wednesday evening," he responded as they reached the front door, "and then she'll be back on next Saturday."

"Oh yeah." Teddy replied sadly.

He couldn't fault his son for being sad about the arrangement. He didn't like it anymore than Teddy, but he dealt with it one week at a time. Preparing himself, and his heart, for the sight of the person on the other side of the door, he took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Hi." He said as his normal way of greeting her.

She smiled at him and he swore the Vermont sky got even brighter. She always managed to take his breath away the second those pouty lips curled upward. He was sucker for the way her eyes lit up when she smiled. He'd vowed to make sure she had a reason to smile everyday for the rest of her life.

"Hi, daddy!" She hurled herself into his arms, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing as tight as she could. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, princess." He whispered into her sandy brown curls. "More than you know."

"I'm not 'Princess' today, daddy." She said as she wiggled out of his arms until her feet touched the ground. "I am Dr. Fairy Princess Vivian today."

She completed her little announcement with full spin in the doorway. He took in the sight of her ensemble. Each piece she wore represented her favorite television characters. She wore a white lab coat for Doc Mcstuffins, fairy wings for Tinkerbell, and a tiara for Princess Sophia.

Beside him, Teddy hid his laughter behind his hand.

She blue eyes locked with her brother's and she waved excitedly at him as if they hadn't just seen each other Wednesday night. "Good morning, Teddy."

"Morning, Dr. Fairy Princess Vivian." He bowed to her and then lifted his gaze to the person still standing in on the other side of the threshold. "Good morning, Ms. Olivia."

"Good morning, Teddy." The sound of her voice still caused his heart to flutter. "Fitz."

"Olivia." He didn't allow himself to look at her right away. Instead his eyes zero in on Vivian's yellow duffel bag in her hand. "Teddy, help Vivvie take her bag to her room and then tell Karen that breakfast will be ready soon."

"Okay." With one hand he reached to take the strap of the bag out of Olivia's hand and with the other he took his sister's hand. "Come on, Viv. They're going to do that weird thing where they stare at each other for a really long time without talking."

"I think it's sweet." Vivian said, looking between her parents.

"That's because you're a girl."

Fitz and Olivia laughed as they watched him drag his younger sister out of the room. Even though there was a three and a half-year age difference between them, they were thick as thieves. It broke Fitz's heart when he watched them say goodbye to each other every Wednesday evening. It broke his heart even more that he and Olivia weren't raising their daughter together. Never in a million years would he have thought they wouldn't have ended up together in the end. Somehow life had gotten in the way and he had to decide what was better for his daughter, regardless of how miserable it made him at times over the years.

"Come in," he did a sweeping motion with his hand to invite her inside, still not looking at her.

"Thank you." She replied with warm sincerity. "Viv invited me to Teddy's game. I didn't want to agree to tell her that I'd come until-"

"Olivia," he cut her off, "you're welcome to come to Teddy's game. He would love to have you there. He loves you."

"Thank you."

He looked at her fort he first time. It was torture to look at her every week and not be able to take her into his arms. It was torture to have her in his house -their house- every Saturday morning without thinking about how he'd imagined things differently when he'd had the house built. He'd imagined lazy Saturday mornings in bed with her until little knocks on their door forced them to leave their room. He'd imagined making breakfast with her every Saturday as they discussed current events.

Instead, she ate breakfast him and the kids every Saturday morning- before returning to her own life back in DC- out of a promise she'd made to Vivian. They spoke only of things that concerned their daughter as if other topics we not safe. At least they were a lot more pleasant to each other than he and Mellie were to one another.

"Do you need any help with breakfast?" She asked after the silence between them became too much for her. "And by help I mean that I can set the table if you haven't already done so."

He laughed softly as he led her to the kitchen. The awkward tension that always greeted them at the front door every week, faded as it always did once they were in the kitchen together. He helped reach the plates out of cabinet, teasing her about being short while she accused him of on purposely putting them higher and higher every week.

"I do not, Liv." He said as he tended to the bacon. He swallowed pass the lump that formed in his throat when he realized that he'd slipped and called her "Liv." "You're just short. I hope Vivvie doesn't get her height from you."

"Hey!" She elbowed him as she passed by, carrying glasses into the dining room.

"Daddy, is mommy being mean to you?" Vivian asked, appearing at his side.

"Yes," he leaned to place a kiss on her freckled nose. "You should go and tickle her."

"Okay!"

Viviain ran out of the kitchen. Seconds later, their combined laughter bounced off of the walls of the house, causing Teddy and Karen to come out of their rooms to see what all the noise was about. He realized then why he loved Saturday mornings. It was the one day out of the week that his family was together. It was the one day out of the week that he could pretend that Olivia didn't walk out on him when he needed her the most. He could pretend that he understood her logic for leaving him again and for not telling about Vivian until after she'd turned two.

He could pretend that there was still a chance for them get their happily ever after.


	2. Chapter 2

She dreaded Saturday mornings.

Growing up, Saturday mornings meant watching all of the other girls in her boarding school receive visits and carepackages from their parents while her father was busy running a secret government organzation. He would always promise that he planned to visit the following Satruday but when that Saturday came around, he would never show. That was why she didn't believe in making promises. No one ever kept them.

It wasn't until she joined the campaign trail –until her relationship with Fitz started- that she learned to appreciate what people called a "lazy Saturday morning." They would lounge around her hotel room –or his if Mellie wasn't around-ordering room service and watching her favorite Saturday morning new segements. He'd even gotten her to watch a few of those ridiuclous cartoons that he loved as a child. It was during those Saturday mornings that she got to really know Fitz, the man, and not Fitzgerald, the presidental candiate. She suspected it was on one of those nurmous Saturday mornings that she'd fallen in love with him.

Even after he got elected he always found a reason for them to spend the occasional Saturday monring together.

Now Saturday mornings were just the start of the long five days she had to spend without her daughter. They were a constant reminder that her life had not turned out the way she thought it would. A constant reminder of how broken things were between her and Fitz.

She looked around Vivian's yellow and white Princess themed bedroom, noticing how different it was from the Doc Mcstuffins' bedroom she had in their apartment. She looked for a sign of her Vivvie that still slept with her favorite blanket every night and ran to her into room anytime it was thundering outside. She felt like she didn't know the little girl who occupied that bedroom from every Saturday to Wednesday. Even the drawings on the wall looked different from the ones that hung on her fridge at home.

"Karen helped her draw that a few weeks ago while she was home." Fitz said from the doorway, referring to the framed butterfly drawing she held in her hand. "You should seen the smile on her face."

"She adores Karen." She said as she placed the framed artwork back on the nightstand and turned to face him. "She left her bag by the door. I just wanted to bring it before I leave."

She made it a habit not to spend too much time at the house after breakfast every week. It felt odd to be a stranger in a house that was suppose to be hers. To watch the life she thought they would there, happen without her. To have her daughter call the place home when she never would.

"I need to talk to you before you leave." He sat down on the edge of Vivian's bed. "I thought it was best to have this conversation without the kids around."

Her guard immediately went up as she sat down in the white rocking chair in the corner of the room. She couldn't remember the last time they'd held a conversation that involved things that could not be said in front of Teddy and Vivian. She couldn't remember the last time they'd talked about anything outside of Vivian and her well-being.

From the moment he found out that Vivian was his daughter, he'd made it painfully clear that the only thing he ever wanted to talk to her about was their daughter.

"I have a flight to catch." She reminded him. "I've already stayed longer than I should have."

"This won't take long." He cleared his throat like he often did when he was nervous. "It's not like the plane can leave without you."

She rolled her eyes. "That's not the point, Fitz. Can we discuss this on Wednes-"

"I met someone." He looked down at his hands and then back up at her. "I met someone and we had dinner, but all I could think about was how wrong it felt to be out with someone that wasn't you. How wrong it felt that this was the first time I have taken a woman out in years and it wasn't you, Liv. It should have been but it wasn't. I miss you, Livvie."

"Oh." It was all she could manage.

She stood up and searched the room for her purse. She needed to be away from him and away from that house before the ache in her chest swallowed her whole. She forced herself to not fall apart in front of him. He didn't need to know that she had been waiting four long years to hear him say those words.

"That's all you have to say?"

"Would do you want me to say?" She snatched her purse off of the dresser, wishing that she didn't have to walk pass him to reach the door. "What would be an acceptable response for you, Fitz? Tell me what you want to hear so that I can say it!"

"I want you to be honest with about how you feel for once, Olivia!" He raised his hand like he wanted to reach out and touch but wisely dropped it. He hadn't touch her in nearly four years and she didn't need him to suddenly start again. "Do you even know how to do that? How to be honest with me?"

She moved closer to the door. "I am not doing this with you today or any other day, Fitz. I got off this ride a long time ago."

"Run away!" His voice trembled while her heart felt like it would shatter in a million pieces if she didn't get out of there. "It's all you've ever done."

"I left." She spun around to face him. "Your son died and I left. How could I stay? How could I face you after what MY parents did to you and your family? How you look at me and not see what they did? Not hate me for it?"

"Olivia-"

"Do you think they would've stopped if I had stayed?" She continued as if he hadn't said her name. "My father wanted me away from you and mother wanted you dead at all cost. They were never going to stop as long as I was with you."

"I could have stopped them!"

She shook her head. "We both know that isn't true. As much as you hate me for leaving and for not telling you that I was pregnant, deep down you know why I couldn't stay here and why I kept Vivian away. I needed keep her away from them and that meant I had to keep her away you too."

"I keep telling myself that I can forgive you for those two years I missed out of her life but-"

"I never asked you to forgive me, Fitz." She shrugged her shoulders. "I never asked you to forgive me for leaving after Jerry died. I never asked you to understand why I did it, but I am telling you that I am done feeling guilty about it. I am done paying for what I did. Do you think it is easy to go without seeing Viv for five days?

"Do you think these Saturday morning breakfasts, pretending like we're one big happy family, are easy for me? It confuses Vivian and it confuses things between us. You miss me? Well, I have missed you every single day for the last four years but what good does that do us? What good does that do our daughter?"

"What good does us not being together do her?"

"It keeps her from getting hurt if things don't work out between us. You said it yourself, Fitz, all we ever do is hurt each other. Why should we put her through that? Why should we put ourselves through that again?"

"Because I know we're worth it and deep down you know we are too."

"Mommy!" Vivian called out as she came running into her bedroom. She threw her arms around her mother's waist, hugging her tightly. "I thought you left."

"How could I leave without saying goodbye to you, Vivvie?" She stared into her daughter's blue eyes. Eyes she'd inherited from Fitz. "I'm going to miss you. I love you."

"I love you too." Vivian poked out her bottom lip. "I wish you could stay here with me."

"I know. I'll let you in on a secret," she knelt down to Vivian's level and whispered into her ear, "I do too."

On Saturday mornings, it was easy to forget that she wasn't suppose to love him anymore. It was easy to get lost in the fantasy of them being together and raising their daughter together in their house. It easy was think everything could change just because he missed her.

It was easy to hope.


End file.
